Wednesday, February 18, 2015

Jay's Post--My Funny Felon Bride

Jay here. I'm filling in for Pamela while she's getting hyperbaric oxygen treatments.

Last week was our 12th anniversary. I did better this year, but, then again, I had nowhere to go but up (to read about that fiasco, click here). This year I sent her roses and chocolate-covered strawberries. 

Pamela (in shock): Honey! I can't believe you did this!

Me: I wanted to make up for all the times I didn't get you anything.

Pamela (narrowing her eyes): Does this have anything to do with the fact that now I'm writing a blog?

Me (ignoring her question and shoving a strawberry in her mouth): Here, baby. Aren't these good?

Pamela (with her mouth full): Dothemritabus.

Me: Sure. Whatever you said. I love you, too.

Pamela (distracted from her blog question by chocolate): You are so incredibly sweet!

Me (modestly): Yeah.

Pamela (squinching up her face): Great. After years of following your lead into marital complacency, now I have to come up with something to give you.

I grinned and assured her that she didn't need to get me anything. But a little later... 

Pamela:  Sweetie, at least I can give you an anniversary card.

Me: Just a minute. I need to get your card.

Pamela: Okay.

Me (digging through piles of papers in the office): I can't find the card I got you!

Pamela: You can give it to me later.

Me: No, I want to find it. 

Pamela (holding out a card): Just read your card. You can give me my card whenever you find it.

Me (frustrated): I know it's here. I just had it!

Pamela (glancing at the card she was about to give me with a look of realization): Oh. Wait. Um, is this the card you're looking for?

Me: Are you saying that you stole the card that I bought you so you had a card to give to me?

I'm shaking my head but laughing. I'm not sure that's what Proverbs 31 was referring to when it says a virtuous wife resourceful, but Pamela would argue differently.

Verse of the day: "He who finds a wife finds a treasure and has favor from the Lord" (Proverbs 18:22). 

Follow-up from Pamela: There was a lot of stuff lying around the office. How was I supposed to remember who bought that particular card? Besides, if he bought it, then it's guaranteed that I'm giving him a card he would like. He should appreciate that. Especially since I proved a couple of posts ago (click here) that he's impossible to buy for. And if we're "one flesh," like it says in the Bible, then if he buys a card, it's the same as me buying the card. Right? That's simple, Biblical logic.

Follow-up from Jay: She stole my card. Then tried to give it to me for our anniversary. Enough said.

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