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Wednesday, November 19, 2014

It's Impossible to Buy for Men

It's impossible to buy gifts for men. Jay rarely wears ties and has plenty of socks (my standard gifts for my dad when I was growing up), and whenever I've asked what I can get him for a present, he's shrugged and replied, "Nothing. When I want something, I buy it myself." 

I love giving gifts, so his attitude has not deterred me. It has just made me try harder.


For example, when Jay goes camping, he often complains about the cold, so I came up with several amazing solutions. But Jay objected to every, single one. Here are a few things that he assured me that, upon receiving, he would set ablaze at the fire department for fire suppression training. Proving that he is a difficult, difficult man.

Not only would he be warm and cozy, but this practical gift would render him invisible to forest predators. And the added bonus is that it would keep bugs from flying up his nose!


And if he wanted to hide in a puddle, he could wear this one!



Jay, to my disgust, shot both options down.


But being the persistent and wonderful wife that I am, I persevered.

I thought more color might appeal to him. I even discovered a matching option for me!


photo from Wild Flower Dyes on etsy.com
photo from Wild Flower Dyes on etsy.com

















 
 
See how happy these two people look? We could look like them, too!
 
Well, except that I don't camp.

Or frolic in the woods in long johns.

Or get high.

But if I did, then I am utterly convinced that this would be the thing to wear!

But Jay, otherwise known as Captain Picky Pants (don't tell him I called him that.), flatly refused to even consider my selection.

Finally, after hours of desperate searching, I discovered the preeminent gift.

The incomparable gift.

The inimitable gift.

True perfection in giving.

Undeniably the BEST GIFT EVER!

A knit onesie. In sage green, to match his eyes and the woodland beauty of the forest.

 


 
To my utter surprise, he had such a negative reaction that I won't even describe it (especially since this is a family blog).

Ingrate. 

From now on, I'm only buying him socks and ties.


I can't wait to see his beaming face full of joyful gratitude when he rips the wrapping paper off of his gifts to find these beauties:



 
 







Verse of the day: (Colossians 2:7) "Let your roots grow down into Him and let your lives be built on Him. Then your faith will grow strong in the truth you were taught, and you will overflow with thankfulness." I read this verse to Jay and he pointed to the man in the knit onesie and remarked, "That guy is hiding his face and clenching both of his fists. 'Overflow with thankfulness' that you have enough sense to not buy that thing for me."
 
 

Camo unisuits can be purchased at www.amazon.com
Knit onsie can be purchased (at your own risk) at http://www.trendhunter.com/trends/full-body-sweater
Sponge Bob bow tie can be purchased at www.etsy.com



 

14 comments:

  1. Men really are hard to shop for. You made me laugh out loud!

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    Replies
    1. And they say they like practical gifts. WhatEVER! I'm glad I made you laugh :0)

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  2. Pamela, my daughter must have signed me up as Grammy, but it is really me, Diane Ledesma. If I knew how to change the name I would, but that is okay because I am a Grammy!

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    Replies
    1. I just said, "Who is Grammy?" Good to know it's you! And don't change it because it's cute.

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  3. You are a beacon of light in a world of darkness, assisting your sisters by giving us these fabulous, practical gift ideas for our menfolk. Bless you, oh wise woman!

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    Replies
    1. I gladly receive that blessing--I (modestly) think I earned it.

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  4. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ...and thanks for the laughs! The Sponge Bob bow tie has serious potential.

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    2. It's my favorite! Can't you just see it resting below Jay's beaming face?

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  5. The gray knit? Totally Bigfoot-inspired. :D

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    Replies
    1. I bet Bigfoot would be grateful to get a cozy onesie like that one. And I bet it would become the latest rage in Yeti-style.

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  6. The tie dye onesy coupled with the bow tie and socks would make any preditor run! Woods or not woods safety first!

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