Wednesday, February 5, 2014

Anniversary Anomaly

Jay is not like the husband of one of my Facebook friends who surprised his wife with a scavenger hunt on their anniversary. He put gorgeous signs around the city at personal landmarks: the restaurant of their first date, where he proposed, the church in which they were married, their first house, and so on. I browse through their on-line photo album and think, "Awwww, that's so sweet," while knowing that the day before our anniversary Jay will say something like, "Um, baby, can you order yourself a gift card from Christianbook.com and say it's from me?"

I honestly don't mind because I knew what he was like before I said my vows. To be disappointed about it after marriage would be incredibly unfair of me. I usually tell him to get me a card. And sometimes he even remembers! Gifts aren't a deal breaker for me.

To his credit, occasionally he surprises me. I was recently out of town for a week, and he sweetly met me at the airport with a dozen roses.

Of course, that was motivated by a burst of gratitude that he'd no longer have to eat his own cooking. He thinks he's on Chopped and makes things like mustard and jelly sandwiches or steak covered in lemon juice, which taste even more disgusting than they sound. (If you've read Delectable Disagreement, then you know his fascination with "creative" cooking. If I'm not home to give him real food, then he has to actually eat his inventions.)

I was pleased with the flowers just the same.

Last year, in early February, we celebrated our 10th Wedding Anniversary.

Jay put forth unusual effort and surprised me with an Anniversary card! He smiled proudly as he handed me the slim bag.

Jay: I didn't forget to get you a card this year!

Me (gushing): That's so sweet! And it's beautiful, darling.

Jay (strutting around the room): I know.

I open and read the card.

Me: Thank you so much, honey.

Jay (trying to look humble): You're welcome, sweet pea.

Long pause.

Me: Um, sweetie?

Jay: Yeah?

Me: Um, it's a really lovely card and all...

Jay: Yeah?

Me: And I don't mean to sound ungrateful...

Jay: Yeah?

Me: ...but it will probably be more meaningful if you'd write my name in it...

Jay: I didn't put your name in it?

Me: ...and if you'd sign it.

Jay: I didn't sign it?

Me: You handed me the bag from the grocery store with a receipt and blank card in it.

Verse of the day: (Zech 4:10) "Do not despise these small beginnings , for the LORD rejoices to see the work begin..." It may not be a city-wide scavenger hunt, but I love that he made an effort.

Disclaimer: As always, posted with Jay's laughing approval. He figures it might get a few other less-than-romantic dudes off the gift-and-card hook with their wives or girlfriends.

To read about my card fail, check out My Funny Felon Bride.

For a story about one of Jay's creative cooking attempts, check out Delectable Disagreement.


  1. Haha, love it! Your story reminds me of a commercial I saw several years ago that showed a guy buying beer in a convenience store. As he's checking out, he happens to spy a card display on the counter, grabs one of the cards without reading it, and carelessly tosses it on top of his six-pack. Cut to later, where we see his girlfriend reading the card while she tearfully exclaims, "Honey, it's perfect!" My point is, some guys have all the luck. I think Jay is one of them. :-)

    1. He knows he gets away with a lot, but considering he doesn't stay mad at me when I get him searched for bombs in the airport, he puts up with a lot, too. I remember that when I'm making my own reservations for my birthday or when he says, "What did I get you for Valentine's?" We're quite the oddball pair!

  2. Which means you're perfect for each other! :-)

  3. I feel Jay's pain here with regards cards and suchlike. I once found out that a birthday card was actually a Christening card when it was time to write on it. Its a man thing!