Wednesday, September 24, 2014

But She's a Dog (or The Fine Art of Refusing to Argue)

I'd never owned a small-breed dog before Zoe, so, after we got her, I was surprised to learn that she had hair instead of fur. That meant she had to be clipped regularly (hair won't stop growing at a set length like fur), and, since hair doesn't insulate well, she needed cold-weather clothes.

Well, okay then. I found a place that sold discounted dog clothes and set out to persuade Jay that I had to buy them. But even after showing him copious amounts of hair vs fur data, he remained unconvinced. 

He (slowly, as if I have difficulty comprehending English): She doesn't need clothes. She's a dog.

Me (earnestly): But because she was bred to have hair, she can't handle cold weather.

He (persistently): She's a dog. 

Me (with a little tear): She shouldn't have to suffer because selective breeding ensured she doesn't have fur to keep her warm.

He (rolling his eyes at the little tear): She's a dog. I'm sure her 'hair' will keep her warm, even in the snow.

At this point, we could have argued until the most determined person wore the other person out. In this case, I knew that I was the most determined person (especially since this issue involved altruistic shopping), but since I don't like arguing with Jay, I decided to agree with him.

Me (relenting, with a sigh): You know, honey, you have a point. She is a dog.

He (gratified): Yes, she is.

Me (agreeably): And, maybe, in spite of the research to the contrary, her body hair will keep her warm in the wind, rain, and snow. 

He (nodding with satisfaction at my capitulation): I'm sure it will. 

(Long pause)

Me (brightly): You know, sweetie, I just remembered from High School Biology that the human body is entirely covered in hair except for the palms, soles, and eyelids.

He: It's not the same thing.

Me (firmly): Hair is hair. If her hair can keep her warm, then your hair can keep you warm. From now on, the only thing you need is a loincloth, no matter what the weather.

He:  Now, listen---

Me (happily):  Think of the money we'll save when you stop wearing pants, shirts, sweaters, and coats!

He (shaking his head, mumbling): Oh, no. What ideas did I just put in her head?

Me (humbly): Thank you, oh, wise husband, for setting me straight about this 'hair can keep a body warm in the winter' stuff. I was wrong; you were right. 

(He rubs his face, groaning.) 

Me (warmly musing): Think of how cute you two will look taking long walks in the snow--her in nothing but a bow, and you in nothing but skivvies.

He (throwing his hands in the air): If you promise that you won't donate all my clothes while I'm at work, then you can get her a couple of shirts or sweaters or whatever.

Which was a silly thing to say since I wouldn't have donated all of his clothes; I would have left him some undies for modesty's sake. But I do love a man who is willing to change his mind, so I let the comment go. Besides, I was already shopping!

Jay flatly refused to walk the dog while only wearing his boxers so I could take a photo to illustrate this post, so, sadly, I can only show you pictures of Zoe.


Verse of the day: (Isaiah 61:10) "I delight greatly in the Lord; my soul rejoices in my God. For He has clothed me with garments of salvation and arrayed me in a robe of His righteousness..." Which is the best attire in all circumstances.

For more stories about Zoe (and/or Jay), click on Comical Cone of Contentment, But She Likes It!, and Pranking the Human.

For another story about when Jay abruptly changed his mind after I quite graciously agreed with him, click here.


  1. I'm pretty sure I speak for all your women readers when I say that this hilarious story would have been even better if only your stubborn husband had consented to a photo.

    1. People say I have the skill of persuasion, but if I really did, then he would have posed for me!

  2. Zoe is a little heart-stealer. Even *I* bought clothes for her when she already has more than a movie star. Jay couldn't have held out very long!! ;-)


    1. The funniest thing to me was when we were visiting someone a year later. Jay had just finished giving Zoe a bath, and she needed to go outside to go potty. He was looking for a warm sweater among her things by the backdoor when the woman of the house (someone old enough to be Jay's mother) scoffed, "Oh, just take her out like that. It's not that cold--she'll be fine." Jay instantly snapped, "You walk outside wet and naked and see how you like it!" I laughed so hard because it's not Jay's nature to snap at people. But he wasn't having ANYONE question his baby girl's right to wear her sweater!

  3. Great funny story Pamela! Loved it!!!