Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Our A-bomb-inable Trip Home

I try to be a good wife. I really do. Sadly, Jay doesn't always appreciate my efforts to improve the quality of his life.

He agrees that organically grown fruit and vegetables have more flavor. His palate can now tell the difference between a regular steak and a grass-fed steak*. He's learned to enjoy home-made kale chips instead of potato chips (I'm not kidding; he actually requests them.). He appreciates cleaning without chemicals (with water and a Norwex** cloth) and only uses natural bug sprays, weed-discouragers, and fertilizers.

But I haven't had any success converting him to my DIY dog shampoo. He says he can't tell if he misses a spot since it doesn't lather. (I tell him to just start at the nose and work his way down to the tail, and he should pretty much get it all.)

And one auspicious day he became instantly and permanently repelled by my homemade body oil.

But that wasn't my fault!

I mean, kind of not my fault.

For a long time I'd been experimenting with my own blend of organic sweet almond oil, jojoba oil, vitamin E oil, essential oils, and vegetable glycerin to make an all-natural skin moisturizer. It worked great, but I had to keep reminding Jay to shake the bottle before using it. Otherwise, we'd be left with only the heavy vegetable glycerin that regularly sunk to the bottom.

I packed a bottle of this exquisite ointment when we visited my family in low-humidity Arizona last year. Jay seemed to appreciate my thoughtfulness because by the end of the trip, we only had a few precious drops left. We slathered it on before we said our good-byes and left for the airport.

Trips are physically difficult for me, so I usually need to use a wheelchair in airports. At security checkpoints, I'm often given a quick pat down, especially since I travel with Caleb, my medical alert dog. This time, they also swabbed my hands.

My swab set off the alarm. I was a little surprised by that.

The TSA agents asked me which carry-on items were mine. Unconcerned, I pointed to Jay and said, "Oh, my husband has them."

They politely asked him to step out of the line with our things and swabbed his hands, too.

To our shock, his swab also set off the alarm!

We were immediately surrounded by security guards on high alert. They dragged us, separately, into private rooms to be searched while other TSA agents combed through our luggage looking for bombs or bomb-making substances.

That's when it hit me: what is a main component of the highly-volatile explosive, TNT? Otherwise known as nitroglycerin?


Yes, we were thoroughly searched in the airport for bombs because of the glycerin dregs of my homemade body oil.

At least life with me is never boring!

Verse of the day: (Psalm 23:5) "You prepare a feast for me in the presence of my enemies. You honor me by anointing my head with oil." I told Jay that I was honoring him when I anointed his hands with oil before we left for the airport. I'm not sure what exactly happened while he was being searched, but he vehemently disagrees.

To read another travel story, click on "Preplanned" Packing. 
To read about more of homesteading hazards, click here.

*For my Charlotte readers, we get our beef from www.grassfedmoo.com
**We're obsessed with Norwex antibacterial cleaning cloths. Not only are they free of chemicals and toxins, but they make cleaning incredibly easy. If you'd like more info, Cheryl at www.downrightclean.com or Linda at http://lindadejeu.norwex.biz can answer your questions.


  1. You BOTH have probably now landed on some (secret) list of people who pose threats to our national security. NEVER will either of you get to experience THE THRILL of sailing through the TSA pre-check lane at the airport either. (I always thought you looked like a highly suspicious couple. That handsome fireman and his sweet wife thing is probably just a cover…)

    1. Yeah, our cover is blown. Now the mission depends on you and Jerry. Don't let the mother ship down!

  2. oH, that makes me groan... I was routinely padded down this last trip we made to the states. Made my kids scared and we held up the whole line until they were done. I was mortified, though kept a smile on my face and explained things away to keep my kids calm. HORRIBLE experience. though... now I know what to expect and don't have to imagine anymore. Hah! As you were sharing this, I thought, imagine if I had used that glycerin lotion on MY WHOLE FAMILY!!! That kind of "annointing" would have cost us dearly... It was already an interesting trip. Hahahah...

    1. sorry... just Celita again...

    2. I've been pat down so many times it doesn't even phase me anymore. And, trust me, the "pat downs" in little room are much worse than the ones they do in front of everyone. But, like I told the Security lady, I appreciate them keeping our airports safe. Love your comments, Celita!