Postal, Southern Style

There's another thing I find curious about the South. The mail.

On lovely days, the mail either isn't delivered at all or it is delivered late. Sometimes after sundown. After watching the mail truck pull away at 10 PM one night, I asked Jay about it. He shrugged and answered (as if I should have easily figured this out on my own), "It was a good day for fishin'."

It's no better when the overcast days of fall arrive because then it's hunting season. I do a jig whenever mail actually arrives. Even if it smells like gunpowder and has a few duck feathers stuck to it.

I know it's a stereotype that Southerners are nosy, ahem, I mean interested, but I was surprised to discover when I moved here that this "interest" included my personal mail. Many of my packages were opened before they were delivered. Nothing was ever taken, but the items were examined (I'm sure with, "Well, butter my biscuit, ain't this just the cutest thing you ever did see, Jenny Sue?") and carefully put back. I haven't complained because I know I'll just hear a surprised, "Well, darlin', we only wanna make sure no one's sendin' you bombs. It's part of Southern hospitality. You'll get used to it, sugar." 

Once they helped themselves to a complimentary service card from a car lot advertisement. If they took it to the dealership, they were entered into a drawing for a free car.

We know they didn't win because Southern manners would have required them to send a thank you note. Of course, given the track record of this Post Office, the thank you card might be crammed among bobbins in a tackle box and won't be delivered until next spring (with a fish hook hanging off of it).

They also occasionally take our coupons. They don't tear them off so that I could blame the sorter; they cut them neatly with scissors and then dutifully deliver the ads as if I'd have some use for them without the discount code.

Good to know I could have had 30% off and free shipping....
if I still had the coupon code!

I can hear the Post Office conversation in my head. "Eulla Mae, here's a coupon for Bed, Bath, and Beyond. I was reckoning to get me some new sheets. D'ya think she'd mind a-tall if I borrowed it?"

"Why, she'd be tickled as a hound dog with two noses, Betty Jo! That's just bein' neighborly. Nobody minds that." 

Verse of the day: (Isaiah 48:17-18, 20) "I am the Lord your God, who teaches you what is good for you and leads you along the paths you should follow...Sing out this message! Shout it to the ends of the earth!" Singing or shouting a message might be a tad more effective down here than trying to send it through the Post Office. I'm just sayin'.