Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Firefighter Funny

A few years ago, Jay, who is a Fire Captain, was assigned to a different fire station. Because I am such a good wife (and not at all because I was stuck at home, bored), I called the station one evening to investigate his new crew. 

The conversation went like this:

Young, yawning Firefighter (who shall remain unidentified): Fire Station. Can I help you?

Me (in a superficial drawl): Hi. Um, there's like this guy at your station who's like really cute. He's like the Captain or something. Um, he's tall with like brownish-blond hair and killer dimples. He's like really, really hot. So, um, do you think he'd go out with me?

(Long, long pause.)

Firefighter: Uh, just a minute.

Jay: Captain Nastase.

Me (in my normal voice): Put. That. Firefighter. Back. On. The. Phone.

I could hear Jay laughing as he handed the phone back because he knew the kid was in trouble.

Firefighter (thrown by the call and confused by Jay's reaction): Uh, yeah?

Me (archly): For all you know, some hussy is calling the station to see if your married Captain will go out with her, and you put that call through?

Firefighter: Oh. (He really meant "Uh oh.") Um, I'm sorry about that. But...but I was caught off guard and--

Me (with a gasp of mock horror):  You put that call through? You're supposed to be a 'band of brothers.' You're supposed to watch out for each other. 

Firefighter (madly backpedaling): Yeah, I shouldn't have done that. But...but I was in the middle of--

Me: You're supposed to have your Captain's back!

Firefighter: Yes, that was bad. Really bad. But...but--

Me (firmly): The correct response is, 'Sorry, but our Captain is married. Unless you're his wife, he will never go out with you.' Then you hang up. Got it? 

Firefighter (still sweating): Yes, ma'am. I totally agree, ma'am. 

Me (mollified): I trust this won't happen again.

He: No, ma'am. I mean, yes, ma'am. I mean, it won't happen again, ma'am.

When Jay took the phone back, he was laughing so hard he could hardly breathe. He might have me repeat that call every time a new guy comes to his station.

Verse of the day: (Luke 11:14b) "Lead us not into temptation..."

Jay and one of his recent crews. They're tough, but I can make them prespire faster than a fire.

Hey, their lives depend on their ability to think quickly, so anything I do to keep them on their toes is a public service. A civic duty. That's right, y'all, I prank call them because I care.

To read how I pranked our Pastor (which is even worse), click here


  1. Poor guy!! Pamela .. Shame on you! LOL!

    1. Again, it was a public service. I keep them on their toes!

  2. Pamela - you go girl!! Keep an eye on those guys & make sure they aren't doing stupid things thinking no one will find out!


  3. That's right, y'all, I prank call them because I care.

    I LOVE it!

    1. I may have to use your voice sometime, Martina. They recognize mine by now ;o)

  4. You're one gutsy lady, Pamela! Is that firefighter still afraid of you? Also, I was wondering why Jay is the only one smiling in the photo...there must be a hidden meaning to that!

    1. They're all a bit intimidated by me. I don't mind! And Jay is the only one smiling because he's the Captain. Which means they can't ban him from the kitchen, and they can't complain when he experiments with their food.

  5. Pamela! I always knew you were smart, but I never imagined you were so sneaky!

    1. That's not the worst thing I did. Check out "Mare's Milk, Anyone?" (May 6 post). Yes, I pranked a pastor. But SOMEone has to help him grow in grace. It was my Christian duty...