Firefighter Funny

A few years ago, Jay, who is a Fire Captain, was assigned to a different fire station. Because I am such a good wife (and not at all because I was stuck at home, bored), I called the station one evening to investigate his new crew. 

The conversation went like this:

Young, yawning Firefighter (who shall remain unidentified): Fire Station. Can I help you?

Me (in a superficial drawl): Hi. Um, there's like this guy at your station who's like really cute. He's like the Captain or something. Um, he's tall with like brownish-blond hair and killer dimples. He's like really, really hot. So, um, do you think he'd go out with me?

(Long, long pause.)

Firefighter: Uh, just a minute.

Jay: Captain Nastase.

Me (in my normal voice): Put. That. Firefighter. Back. On. The. Phone.

I could hear Jay laughing as he handed the phone back because he knew the kid was in trouble.

Firefighter (thrown by the call and confused by Jay's reaction): Uh, yeah?

Me (archly): For all you know, some hussy is calling the station to see if your married Captain will go out with her, and you put that call through?

Firefighter: Oh. (He really meant "Uh oh.") Um, I'm sorry about that. But...but I was caught off guard and--

Me (with a gasp of mock horror):  You put that call through? You're supposed to be a 'band of brothers.' You're supposed to watch out for each other. 

Firefighter (madly backpedaling): Yeah, I shouldn't have done that. But...but I was in the middle of--

Me: You're supposed to have your Captain's back!

Firefighter: Yes, that was bad. Really bad. But...but--

Me (firmly): The correct response is, 'Sorry, but our Captain is married. Unless you're his wife, he will never go out with you.' Then you hang up. Got it? 

Firefighter (still sweating): Yes, ma'am. I totally agree, ma'am. 

Me (mollified): I trust this won't happen again.

He: No, ma'am. I mean, yes, ma'am. I mean, it won't happen again, ma'am.

When Jay took the phone back, he was laughing so hard he could hardly breathe. He might have me repeat that call every time a new guy comes to his station.

Verse of the day: (Luke 11:14b) "Lead us not into temptation..."

Jay and one of his recent crews. They're tough, but I can make them prespire faster than a fire.

Hey, their lives depend on their ability to think quickly, so anything I do to keep them on their toes is a public service. A civic duty. That's right, y'all, I prank call them because I care.

To read how I pranked our Pastor (which is even worse), click here.