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Wednesday, June 5, 2013

Medicated Part One

A few years ago, in March, I sent a cousin several birthday cards. It would have been a sweet gesture except that each card was exactly the same. And her birthday is in July.

My defense was that I was medicated.  

I was trying a new anti-seizure medication for pain-control, and the side effects were dizziness (Whee!), drowsiness (Yawn…) and brain fog (Who is this cute man in my house, and why does he keep calling me his wife?). My doctor warned that it takes a while to adjust this particular medication and that I might act a bit strange for a month or two. Of course, with me, how could one tell?

One morning, I woke to find myself with a nearly-empty cereal box on my lap cramming granola into my mouth with both hands. There were empty wrappers on the bedside table, evidence that my binge hadn't started with nutty oat clusters. 

Another morning, I tried to take a dose of the new pills and at some point lost consciousness. I didn't pass out, I just checked out. When I found myself back in reality, I was leaning on my elbow staring at the medicine bottle. It was filled to the brim with water. 
Incorrect
Something seemed wrong, and I realized that I had to get the water off the pills immediately, but instead of pouring the water into the cup conveniently located on my nightstand, I poured half of the water directly on the nightstand.
 
Also incorrect
That also seemed wrong, so I dumped the remaining water on the bed. 

 
Surprisingly, this, too, was incorrect
I reiterate; I was drugged.

At that point, I knew I was incapable of rationally dealing with the situation further and woke Jay. He patiently took over, spread the capsules out to dry, and cleaned up the nightstand. He left the soggy bedding alone. He figured it would dry on its own, and, after all, it was on my side of the bed.

Jay tried to put a positive spin on my actions. He said, pragmatically, "You came up with viable options. Not normal options, but options, nonetheless." He added, benevolently, "You were thinking outside the box!" 

To this I replied, "What box?"

Then I went back to sleep.  (To be continued next week. It gets worse. Much worse.)


Verse of the day: (Matthew 9:36) "When (Jesus) saw the crowds, He had compassion on them because they were confused and helpless..."  I know the feeling. 

12 comments:

  1. Medication...ugh. Sometimes does more harm than good! At least you weren't doing strange things to Jay or the pets! :-)

    L-

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    1. At least not until next week's post...

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  2. OH dear...funny, but rather sobering too. The scary part would've been if you'd taken some meds, forgotten that you'd taken them, and then taken more. Eagerly awaiting next week's post, especially since I know you came through the ordeal and are alive to write about it. :-)

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    1. It was pretty obvious when I had the meds in my system, so I don't think I ever took too many. I was more interested in food than anything. In fact, my body was so thrilled with the experience that to this day I carry the weight around that I gained during those few weeks.

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  3. I agree- so glad we know that in the end, all parties are alive and well! Phew!!

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    1. Had I taken too many, I think I would have just slept it off. They made me incredibly sleepy. And hungry. And goofy.

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  4. I appreciate the painstaking effort you took to recreate the scene in photos. You take your writing/blog seriously.

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    1. Well, it had been a while since I'd washed the nightstand and the sheets needed to be changed. It was much more interesting to tell myself that I was doing it for the blog rather than cleaning (which is such an ugly word).

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  5. Excellent link to scripture. Never thought that verse could be used to make me laugh but it did just now. Love it! Thanks Pamela.

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    1. I think you'll like next week's verse even better. It's very "me." How's that for a teaser!

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  6. You've upped the ante in posting these pictures. You may want to think twice before you share a story in which you accidentally injured yourself.

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    1. Ha! For some reason, Jay was completely opposed to me reenacting a story about how I totaled my car years ago. I've patiently explained, but he just doesn't seem to grasp the importance of photos in blogs. Men.

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